Angela BensonIf anyone tells you’re they’re fun, don’t believe them!
I bet you’ve guessed that I’m on deadline. What I bet you don’t know is that I’m always on deadline. Something is always due, and if you’re a teacher or a working mother or a writer with a full-time job or just a very busy person, I’m sure you understand. To keep my sanity, I maintain a calendar in Outlook to manage my deadlines. I’m due date driven so seeing that task list helps keep me focused.
I read something on Tyler Perry’s web page (by the way, House of Payne was kicking this week) that’s been sticking with me as I work through all my task list. It’s something we all know, but it’s nice to be reminded. Here it is for you to ponder:
. . .we as human beings almost always sabotage our own success.
There are many reasons why we do this but the main reason that I used to do it and so many of us still do it is because we don’t feel that we deserve good things to happen to us. Be it because of what we were told as children or what someone may have done to us, even as of late. . .
. . .if you are the type of person that gets close but never makes it in, what that tells me is that you have the faith to get to the door, but not enough to open it. There are different levels of faith. One can take you to the door. Then you need faith to open it. A lot of times fear will keep you from opening it, because a lot of us are afraid of change. Then you need faith to go through the door. This is the biggest part because it means you have to conquer the unknown. This kind of faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
Let’s walk through the door, y’all.
This is a rare thing for me at the moment–dropping in at a blog. I’ve had so much computer trouble that I reserved my time for the most necessary tasks. Blogging came kind of last.
As you were occupied with getting a new car, I was occupied with getting a new computer: a laptop this time. I need something with which I can flee to more quiet areas and something that won’t take up as much space as the 3 PCs plus a huge monitor, I have right now. Financially speaking, my buying a computer is pretty well on a par with your buying a car. I had $0 to spare last year because of the Hydro mixup and therefore used my refund for a laptop and a small a/c.
Your blog reminds me of a quote by Graham Greene that I read somewhere about not deserving good things. When I find it again, I’ll post it. It really rang a bell with me.
Congratulations on the new book you’ve almost finished. How long until it will come out in print?
I just read a large print copy of “The Nicest Guy in America”. I found it very good even though it was not a Christian book per se. I’d sort of been asking myself some of the same questions your characters did.
Ach, this keyboard is a little hard to get used to. I have an ergonomic when where the keys are partially international. Of course the keys on this are much closer together and every so often, I hit the wrong one. Some sites I just can’t get into and I don’t know why not. It’s especially those that are interactive in some way. It’s a real nuisance and literal pain in the neck, back and hands
I’m glad you have good friends. It’s something I’m definitely lacking since I “bummed” around the world so much. I even had to interrupt my university years because of illness and didn’t start in the same year as my high school friends to begin with–the few that went. For some reason or other most of our family members chose not to go to university or college. In our immediate family, only the oldest in each have gotten degrees: my sister’s oldest got a degree in sports management, my brother’s oldest got a degree in Early Childhood Education, and I got one in Languages and teaching. My father had one in Architecture. All the rest have gone to junior colleges or directly to work. Oh, yeah, my sister’s husband took a degree at the Ontario College of Arts. Only in my sister-in-law’s family here in London did all 3 sisters (she’s the oldest) take University and teaching degrees.
And then I’ve actually lived in Germany, Winnipeg and London, ON. Since I was pretty well bound to my parents until my mother passed away in Aug. 2003 and at the time hardly got out because of my own illness, I’ve got nary a soul to call friend and I haven’t had the energy to cultivate friendship. Really too bad. However, last October I e-mailed a former high school classmate for her birthd and she’s become a good friend again. But a group of friends? Really, they are scattered all over the world.
I found the Graham Greene quote just last week: “He felt the loyalty we feel to unhappiness–the sense that is where we really belong.”
– Graham Greene: “The Heart of the Matter”
I hope your deadlines are being met or close to it. Mine aren’t. I have barely started proof-reading the book that is now 2 or 3 weeks overdue to be sent back completed. I found though that once I got going and put everything else out of my mind, I could get last year’s done pretty fast. The problem is that I got stuck with the first sentence here: “The Ocean View was going condo.”
Certainly not an expression I was very familiar nor really comfortable with. So what do I do with that? Just assume that everybody else will have no problem with it? Or will there be other dinosaurs like me. From the name of business she has, I have no idea what she does for a living. All I know from the first page for sure is that she has a cat she talks to. Ah, well.
How wonderful to know that God is there no matter what our problem is.
WOW!
Not that long ago I wrote a blog entry asking “What is wrong with me? I’m afraid of my Best Friend (God). Something MUST be wrong.” I also commented (there or in an email back to someone who commented on it) that there is a problem with the concept of “prayer as conversation” because I really like the AUDIBLE conversations I used to have with my mom on the phone.
So, to prove just how great Best Friend He is, He’s been answering that question ever since. I feel like I am randomly “traveling” through Blogdom, but I know God is taking me somewhere everytime I click on a new link. He brought me here to this post, and to Sigrun’s two comments for a reason. More of the answer. He is so wonderful, even when I’m a brat!
1) How do you make yourself not just “snooze” that OUTLOOK calendar? That’s one of my big problems.
2) I’ve picked three projects, all relatively brand new, that “if you choose to accept this assignement, remember … this tape will self-destruct in 30 seconds …” — are all due within a month and a half. While it seems like God showing me the opportunities, it seems like a lot to jump right into … Procrastination (due to a sort of backward warped kind of perfectionism) is one of my truly big problems.
3) And that perfectionism makes your quote from Tyler Perry all the more true to me. As well as the quote from Graham Greene! When God wants to speak, He sure makes sure He gets the point across. 🙂
4) to Sigrun: I wish your name linked back to you. I can oh-so-really relate to your comments about lack of close friends. But, on a brighter note, the first line “The Ocean View was going condo.” If it wasn’t caped, I would understand immediately that the view of the ocean from as close as a block away is fast disappearing as more and more condos and other construction take over. Since it is capped, I see that it is either a motel that is converting to condos or a rental / apartment property turning to ownered “flats.” It makes sense. You’re not a dinosaur. The first meaning of the sentence would draw me in to a story more quickly than the second. But that’s because I’m a coastal kid who’s now land-locked in the upper midwest, except for the great interior ocean called Lake Superior two and a half hours away.
I guess I’ve always lived in a land-locked area although for about 13 years we lived right on the bank of the Assiniboine River in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. From there, my family moved to London, Ontario–where I now live–while I was living in Europe for 10 years. I got to live in the house beside the creek which my father no doubt chose because of the proximity to the water. There were still fish in there when they first moved in but they died out no doubt because of the construction of a whole new subdivision where cows used to graze in the 1970s.
Yes, I’ve keenly felt the lack of friends this summer. I’ve had to put everything on hold because I’m physically and financially unable to help myself. I just checked the weather statistics last week and apparently London is always uncomfortable humid. If I remember correctly, there was never a month with less than 71% humidity. The comfort (and I guess healthy) zone is 45-55%. Maybe that’s why it’s also the “allergy capital” of Canada. I don’t know if that has been proven but a friend told me she had heard or read it somewhere. snowdrop. sigrun. at gmail.com
I’d better get to bed. I hope I can sleep because I’ve got an early (for me) appointment tomorrow.
Sue, where do you live? I live about an hour from each of Lakes Erie and Huron, and about 2 from Lake Ontario. I think that makes it so humid here.
BTW, the way I said something about the book was not quite right. What, I think, the writer meant was that the apartment complex that she was living in and whose name I’ve forgotten was going to be a series of condos instead of apartments. I just made up a name. However, that use of “going” sort of threw me.