Angela BensonAs many of you know, Sins of the Father deals with the issue of absentee fathers from the perspectives of the adult children of an absentee father, their mother, and the absentee father himself.
Since the issue is a common one, I started a Facebook page so that children of absentee fathers, their mothers, and the absentee fathers themselves could share their stories. Guess what? Not many people have taken me up on my offer. So I’m making an appeal to you here today to participate with us as we discuss questions about absentee fathers and their adult children.
For adult children of absentee fathers:
How do you feel about your father now?
Do you want a relationship with him? Why or why not?
For mothers of children whose fathers are not in their lives:
How does it feel that your child’s father is not involved in his/her life?
Does your child miss their other parent? How do you know?
How do you feel about the absentee father?
Would you welcome a relationship between your child and his/her father? Why or why not?
If you’re an absentee dad:
How did you come to be separated from your children?
Have you tried to get to know them? How did that go?
Have they reached out to you? How did that go?
What do you want for your relationship with your kids, if anything?
If you’re interested in sharing your story, please join us on the Sins of the Father Facebook page or post here in the Comments section. I truly believe sharing the stories will be beneficial to all of us. You may end up being a blessing to someone you’ve never met.
Hi Angela,
After my ex-husband & I divorced, I tried my best to keep my children’s father in their lives, but he just wasn’t interested. I was the one who would call him to ask if the kids can come over; I was the one who would drop them off/pick them up, when he did consent to see them, and then it was always rush-rush (“When you coming to pick up the kids? I got things to do.”) It was very, very frustrating because I thought he was going to be a good father based on his interactions with other children when we were dating. Now that they are adults, I still encourage them to reach out to him, and be the “better person.” He’s come around a little, but it’s still like pulling teeth. I’m sure my children miss him, though they don’t say so. They see the relationship other adult children in our family have with their fathers & I know it bothers them. I don’t have any animosity toward my ex, I just feel pity for him, because he missed out on so much. Although he attended their graduations, he missed so many birthdays, so many milestones. I just hope he reaches out before it’s really too late, before he gets old and they don’t want to have anything to do with him. But I will always continue to encourage them to have a relationship with him, because my father died when I was 6 and I never had him in my life even before that.