N@50: Give me my remote!

Angela Benson December 7, 2009 3 Comments

This is the second post in my Newlywed at 50 series. The topic is the television and its remote. In the years that I lived alone as an adult, I have always had several televisions. In my last house — 3 bedrooms — I had four televisions. Yes, that’s overkill, but they were my friends. I would have them all on at the same time, on different channels, too, and could easily tune them all out. I guess I had them on to keep the house from being so quiet.

Now fast forward to life as a married woman sharing a house with a man who has a totally different view of the television. First, my hubby doesn’t work in front of the television. When he has work to do, he goes to our home office. Now since I share that office with him, it does have a TV, but he doesn’t turn it on. Second, I do everything with the TV on. If I’m in the office working, the TV is on. But I’m rarely in the office working these days since I’ve gotten my MAC laptop. It’s the first laptop that I’ve actually used as a laptop. Now I do most of my work in the bedroom in front of the TV. Honestly, the TV doesn’t bother me. I can tune it out to the point that it’s a non-issue.

Or I thought I could. My dear hubby has changed my opinion. I can tune out the television unless you change the channel on me, which DH does often. This threw me at first. I didn’t really understand what was constantly breaking my concentration. Then I realized that every time he changed the channel, I looked up from whatever I was working on. The TV didn’t interrupt my concentration but the channel changing did. Isn’t that fascinating?

So how did we resolve this major issue? Well, it probably would have been easiest had I just stopped working in the bedroom and moved to another room. What did it matter? They all have televisions. But we didn’t go that route. We agreed that when he changed channels he would stay on it for a couple of minutes before he changed again. I’m not sure he’s doing that but the channel flipping no longer bothers me.

I’ve even gotten used to watching football with him as he flips from channel to channel. The problem sneaked up on me at first though. I’d be watching the game and all of a sudden the uniform colors would change. I’m not a football fanatic so it would take me a minute or two to realize this wasn’t the same team I’d been watching a few minutes ago. But all is good. I’m now resolved to watching 2, 3 and 4 games at once.

There is no remote control issue in our house anymore proving once again that you can teach an old dog new tricks. In this case, I’m the one learning the tricks. No way will I call myself an old dog though.

A New Contract

Angela Benson December 2, 2009 18 Comments

If you’re a Publishers Lunch subscriber, you’ve already heard my good news. If not, here it is:

Essence bestseller, Christy finalist and RITA finalist Angela Benson’s DELILAH’S DAUGHTERS, in which Delilah and her three adult daughters see the fabric of their family unravel in their pursuit of success and also see it reshaped as each woman learns what’s most important in life, to Wendy Lee at Harper, in a two-book deal, by Natasha Kern at the Natasha Kern Literary Agency(World).

Yes, I am blessed to report that I have a new two-book contract with HarperCollins. This is good news because the sales for Up Pops the Devil, my first book with HarperCollins, were dismal. UPTD is the lowest selling of all my books. I’m not sure what happened, but it wasn’t good. I’m honored that my editor, the delightful Wendy Lee, went to bat for me, despite those numbers. Now we have the challenge of building them back up over the next few books.

While many authors are experiencing great success these days, there are many who are facing the same struggles that I’m facing. But we have to remember that people are struggling all over. Folks have lost jobs and homes. We need to show compassion and respect. Now is not the time to berate folks for loaning books or borrowing from the library or buying from used bookstores. I can’t do it. I’m blessed to have to day job ‘cos if I was living on advances from my publisher I’d have to buy all my books used!

Yes, it’s tough out here in publishing land, but let’s keep the faith and not turn on each other. We really are in this together.

Newlywed at 50

Angela Benson November 30, 2009 14 Comments

I have lived by myself for most of my adult life. There was a period in my early twenties when I lived in a duplex with a group of folks. That time convinced me that I was not meant for group living.

So here I am at 50 sharing a home with this man who is now my husband. We met in 2004, got engaged in 2007 and married this year, very recently, in fact.

Over the course of our relationship, I have learned a lot. Mostly about myself. I’m a kind person but I do like to have my way and my brother has accused me more than once of having to have the last word in any discussion or argument. This relationship has chilled me out a little, I think, and made me more considerate of others.

Lesson #1. I’ve learned that just because someone does something differently from the way I would have done it, doesn’t mean they did it wrong. It just means they did it differently. Not better or worse, just different. I know that sounds simple, but it’s really a big deal, especially for a woman who’s lived most of her life by herself and done things the way she wanted to do them.

So what if when he cooks, he uses every pot and pan in the kitchen? That’s the way he does it. And he’s a great cook. So I focus on his cooking, and the heart that he has to do it for us (including breakfast in bed for me), and the dirty pots and pans don’t matter at all. I’m just grateful that he doesn’t make me clean up.

So what if he doesn’t open his mail as soon as he gets it out of the mailbox the way I do? That’s his mail and his process. Why do I even have a position on it?

So what if he doesn’t fill up the gas tank every time he stops for gas? Now this was a big one for us because I’d get in the car and have to go for gas. I still don’t think he fills up all the time but I haven’t gotten in the car with a low tank in a while.

I guess the real lesson is “don’t sweat the small stuff.” I’ve grown to trust George over the time I’ve known him so I’ve learned to always give him the benefit of the doubt. Every time I’ve doubted his intentions, he’s proven me wrong. He may do things that irk me at times, but that’s never his intention. His heart is always for my best. Knowing that, it’s easy for me to accept our differences and even appreciate them. We’re a good team and I’m blessed to have him in my life.

For those of you wondering, George and I talked about my blogging about our relationship and he’s on board with it. I think my next post will be about the different ways we use the TV remote control. Now that’s been a trip!

World’s Worst Blogger

Angela Benson November 25, 2009 7 Comments

I admit it. I’m a bad blogger. When a lot is going on with me, I don’t blog. When I have time to blog, I don’t have anything to say.

If things work out as planned, I’ll be blogging again in the New Year. Some of the subjects I’ll address are life as a newlywed at 50 (yes, the hubby has agreed I can do this) and my recent contract negotiations. Both are pretty juicy so stay tuned.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving. Take care of yourself and remind the folks around you how much they mean to you.

Meet Ashea Goldson, author of The Lovechild

Angela Benson November 10, 2009 7 Comments

DSC00713Ashea Goldson, originally born in Brooklyn, NewYork is a wife of twenty three years, a mother of two daughters, a grandmother of one, a graduate of Fordham University, a writer, a poet, a publisher, a reviewer, an internet radio host, an educator, and a co-founder of a Christian preparatory school. Active in the ministry, she is a dedicated member of World Changers Church International for many years. She has a lifetime of experience with writing which ranges from being published in local newspapers, magazines, and online publications to full length books.

Her first Christian fiction novel is The Lovechild, published by Urban Christian Publishers in 2008. Ashea’s short story entitled “The Kit Cat Trial” will be released in an anthology named Pets Across America in September 2009. Her second Christian fiction novel, Joy Comes In The Morning, will be released in July 2010, also by Urban Christian Publishers. She has recently released a non-fiction title, Resurrecting Vision: 45 steps To Digging Up Your Destiny And Seeing It Through God’s Eyes, through her own publishing company.

Calling herself a kingdom writer, and passionate about this calling, she is currently working on her third novel, random poems, several short stories, a children’s book, and is organizing a literacy group for youth in her community. During her relaxation time she can be found hanging out with her family, snuggled up to a good book, or listening to gospel music.

ABOUT THE BOOK
LovechildIn The Lovechild, Makaeli Hunt, a successful fashion designer, has been driven far away from home by her family’s dysfunction. While living in Italy, trying to heal the wounds of yesterday, ambition becomes her comforter. When a family emergency forces her to return to her home, in seven life altering days, amidst memories of a tumultuous past,will one revealed secret drive her away from her family and God forever? Or will she discover what it means to be God’s lovechild? Dealing with issues of racism, depression, self-esteem, drug addiction, mental illness, verbal and physical abuse,The Lovechild is a story of redemption and re-dedication, confirming our victory in Jesus Christ.

READ EXCERPT

The Lovechild by Ashea Goldson (excerpt) –
Follow the blog tour at http://bit.ly/TheLovechild

Meet Jacquelin Thomas, author of The Ideal Wife

Angela Benson October 9, 2009 4 Comments

JThomas4Jacquelin Thomas is an award winning, bestselling author with twenty-nine titles in print. Her books have garnered several awards, including two EMMA awards, the Romance In Color Reviewers Award, Readers Choice Award and the Atlanta Choice Award in the Religious & Spiritual category. Jacquelin was a 2005 honoree at the Houston Black Film Festival for the movie adaptation of her novel, Hidden Blessings. She was the first recipient to receive the Writers Achievement Award at the North Carolina Book Festival in Winston-Salem.

Although Jacquelin initially published in the romance genre, she decided to follow the call on her heart to write Christian fiction because she seeks to write books that will touch your heart and uplift your spirits with tales of characters who yearn to have an intimate relationship with God. Committed to writing books that glorify God and her growing teen audience, Jacquelin published the first of her Young Adult Inspirational Fiction series titled Simply Divine in October 2006. Her second book in the series, Divine Confidential was nominated for a 2008 NAACP Image Award. She has since gone on to publish two more books in the series. When asked why she is so passionate about writing teen novels, Thomas shares that teens are confronted with so much—sex, drugs, violence and abuse, physically and mentally. They need to not only listen to what the world says about these things but also to what the Bible says.

Jacquelin is a member of the National Writers Union, Romance Writers of America and the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. She is happily married to her best friend and is the proud mother of three children. Jacquelin and her family live in North Carolina.

ABOUT THE BOOK
The Ideal WifeJana Collins loves her husband with all her heart. But what if love isn’t enough?

Marrying a handsome, wealthy lawyer and living in a Hollywood Hills mansion . . . it’s a dream come true for twenty-four-year-old Jana, from the moment Lawrence Collins swept her off her feet and into his luxurious world. True, she put her studies at a local Bible college on hold in order to wed after a six-month whirlwind romance. Beautiful and vivacious, with a stunning body, Jana knows men like Lawrence don’t come along every day, and she vows to be a perfect companion—the ideal wife—to this sexy, powerful man. But at what price?

From her wardrobe and hairstyle to her friends and her choice of church, Lawrence seems to want to change Jana into someone she’s not . . . and soon, the man Jana thought she knew will test her values and her faith with a shocking revelation that goes against everything she believes—how far will Jana be willing to go to keep the man she loves? With her “ideal” marriage falling apart, Jana—the real, modest, smart, and strong girl who knows what she stands for—must put her trust in God, and follow His guiding light out of the darkness of a broken relationship.

Drawing from a moving scripture tale with an insightful message for women today, Jacquelin Thomas delivers a provocative and enlightening new novel.

BOOK REVIEW
With The Ideal Wife, Jacquelin Thomas demonstrates why she’s a leading voice in Christian fiction. She explores the intersecting boundaries of marital sex, love and respect with the grace and sensitivity for which she’s known. The Ideal Wife raises questions about sexual relations within marriage that I have not seen addressed in Christian fiction. In the character Jana Collins we see a newly married woman struggle with doing what is comfortable for her and doing what pleases her husband. In the character Lawrence Collins we see a husband with very rigid ideas of how a wife should act, dress and express her love for him. The Ideal Wife will have you asking questions and examining your own beliefs. It’s the perfect book to read with a book club or a women’s group. I guarantee you’ll have a very lively conversation. The Ideal Wife is a must read!

READ EXCERPT

The Ideal Wife by Jacquelin Thomas (excerpt) –

Follow the blog tour at http://bit.ly/TheIdealWife.
For more information about Jacquelin, visit her at http://www.jacquelinthomas.com/

Meet Vanessa Miller, author of Forsaken

Angela Benson September 30, 2009 6 Comments

vanessa-miller

Vanessa Miller of Dayton, Ohio is an Essence best-selling author, playwright, and motivational speaker. Her stage productions include: Get You Some Business, Don’t Turn Your Back on God, and Can’t You Hear Them Crying and Abundant Rain.

To date, Vanessa has written the Rain Series and the Storm Series. The books in the Rain Series are: Former Rain, Abundant Rain, and Latter Rain. The books in the Storm Series are: Rain Storm and Through the Storm. These books have received rave reviews, winning Best Christian Fiction Awards and topping numerous Bestseller’s lists.

FORSAKEN is Vanessa’s newest book. Forsaken is the story of a fallen pastor’s journey back to God. Vanessa believes that each of her books will touch readers across the country in a special way. It is, after all her God-given destiny to write novels that bring deliverance to God’s people.

FORSAKEN2ABOUT THE BOOK

Pastor Jerome Tyler “JT” Thomas is charismatic behind the pulpit, charming to all he comes in contact with, and lethal to those who linger too long. Since the age of twenty-two, when he prayed for God to keep him out of prison, JT knew he would preach the gospel. Bishop Turner makes it possible; but there are strings attached, and now JT isn’t sure he can stay tied down.

Cutting loose causes more problems than JT anticipated. When an old friend from his days on the streets resurfaces and his extracurricular activity comes knocking on his front door, JT’s life and the lives of those close to him spiral out of control. Now he will need divine intervention to make things right. But how much help can a man hope to receive when he feels he’s been forsaken by God?

READ EXCERPT


Forsaken by Vanessa Miller (excerpt) –

WATCH BOOK TRAILER

Where’s Your Daddy?

Angela Benson September 22, 2009 1 Comment

As many of you know, Sins of the Father deals with the issue of absentee fathers from the perspectives of the adult children of an absentee father, their mother, and the absentee father himself.

Since the issue is a common one, I started a Facebook page so that children of absentee fathers, their mothers, and the absentee fathers themselves could share their stories. Guess what? Not many people have taken me up on my offer. So I’m making an appeal to you here today to participate with us as we discuss questions about absentee fathers and their adult children.

For adult children of absentee fathers:

How do you feel about your father now?
Do you want a relationship with him? Why or why not?

For mothers of children whose fathers are not in their lives:

How does it feel that your child’s father is not involved in his/her life?
Does your child miss their other parent? How do you know?
How do you feel about the absentee father?
Would you welcome a relationship between your child and his/her father? Why or why not?

If you’re an absentee dad:

How did you come to be separated from your children?
Have you tried to get to know them? How did that go?
Have they reached out to you? How did that go?
What do you want for your relationship with your kids, if anything?

If you’re interested in sharing your story, please join us on the Sins of the Father Facebook page or post here in the Comments section. I truly believe sharing the stories will be beneficial to all of us. You may end up being a blessing to someone you’ve never met.

The Prosperity Gospel

Angela Benson September 18, 2009 4 Comments

I know this is a touchy subject in some circles, but I recently read a blog article on the topic that started me thinking. When it comes to money and prosperity, I think I’m in the Rick Warren, author of the mega-successful Purpose-Driven Life (PDL), camp. He once said:

I don’t think it is a sin to be rich, it’s a sin to die rich. I want people to make as much money as they can as long as they give it away as much as they can.

I understood what he meant. Money is not to have/hoard/acquire but to give/use. He has an interview HERE that you should read. He talks about the decisions he and his wife made after the PDL money started rolling in. He made nine million dollars in royalties in the first three months!

First, we decided we would not change our lifestyle one bit no matter how much money came in. So I still live in the same house I’ve lived in for 15 years and I still drive the same Ford truck, have the same two suits, I don’t have a guest home, I don’t have a yacht, I don’t own a beach house, we just said that we aren’t going to use the money on ourselves.

Second, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, I added up all the church had paid me over the past 25 years and gave it all back. I gave it all back because I didn’t want anyone thinking that I did it for money. And I knew that God was raising me up to a position of prominence. I knew I was going to be under the spotlight and I wanted to live a life beyond reproach. So we gave it all back and the very next week it was either Time or Newsweek came and did an interview of me and the very first question they asked was, “What is your salary?” I was able to say honestly I’ve been able to serve my church free for 25 years. It felt so good to bust that stereotype.

Kay and I became reverse tithers. When we got married 30 years ago, we began tithing 10%. Each year we would raise our tithe 1% to stretch our faith: 11% the first year, 12% the second year, 13% the third year. Every time I give, it breaks the grip of materialism in my life. Every time I give, it makes me more like Jesus. Every time I give, my heart grows bigger. And so now, we give away 90% and we live on 10%. That was actually the easy part, what to do with the money–just give it away, because I’m storing up treasures in heaven.

You’ll have to read the article for the rest of the interview. My question for you is where do you stand on the prosperity gospel? Does it include driving through exclusive neighborhoods claiming houses and cars that will some day be yours? Is it looking to be a funnel that passes on the blessings of God to others? Or is your position some combination of the two?

Whitney and Oprah

Angela Benson September 17, 2009 2 Comments

During my interview with RAWSISTAZ on the Sins of the Father virtual tour, I was asked about a movie version of the story.

If Sins of the Father was turned into a movie who would you cast to play your characters?

Denzel would play Abraham, Angela Bassett would be Saralyn and Whitney (the old Whitney) would be Leah.

After seeing the first day of the two-day Oprah interview with Whitney, I’m convinced the old Whitney is back, older and wiser. I think the interview is must-see TV so if you missed the show, please catch it HERE. Whitney’s openness was refreshing and I think what she said will speak to a lot of us. I know it spoke to me.

By the way, I’m more convinced than ever that Whitney would make the perfect Leah. What do you think?